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Thread: General > Talk > Making friends

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Thread: #7729
Page: 1
daviemoo

Posted: 08 Jan 2015
Making friends
This thread makes me sound like such a goon but I think it's way past time I posted it.

I see a lot of posts online lately, usually about how people are like so totally socially awkward hashtag lol, and it really winds me up- I am pretty socially awkward but not in this, im proud of it way. I suck these days at being confident in conversations, or making friends which is why most of my friends are onliners. So i guess I wanted to ask- how exactly do people go about making proper friends these days?
I think now i live in Leeds full time again I really need to suck it up and make some new friends (and see my current ones more), but im totally lame at actually... doing that.

p.s is this just me on these forums, please tell me other people are as hopeless as me.
stewiestrapon

Posted: 09 Jan 2015
Re: Making friends
I’m one of these. Obviously not the only one and definitely not proud…
http://introversioneffect.com/2014/07/22/18-struggles-of-having-an-outgoing-personality-but-actually-being-introverted/

If you only read one point in that article, please refer to point 7. But extending outside dating to making (and keeping) friends. I’m basically a really shit friend >.< People think that I don’t want to know because I haven’t spoken to them for like a year. But it’s totally not like that and I don’t feel the need to explain myself to anyone. So on top of coming over as not wanting to know I also seem quite aloof…

So I don’t know how to push beyond the whole “this is just how it is/how I am” front and start making “proper” friends. Probably doesn't help that everyone I know lives in London and I'm stuck in the Midlands.

Saying that, a "proper" friend is open to interpretation?

After leaving London I have people who still talk to me on Facebook. I have people I occasionally bump into if I'm in London. I have people who I actually plan stuff with. I have people I've never met in real life who know more about my post-London life than the 'physical' people I left in London.

Define "proper" friendship?
daviemoo

Posted: 09 Jan 2015
Re: Making friends
Yeah you sound like me except in northern and most of my friends are London based.
stewiestrapon

Posted: 10 Jan 2015
Re: Making friends
@daviemoo It's mildly comforting to not be the only one Shame we're not in the same "not-London" place! We could extend the "I basically just don't see my friends" thing to each other xD
daviemoo

Posted: 10 Jan 2015
Re: Making friends
Totally would rock. I do drive but I spend half my time commuting around the North at the minute for work. Le snore. But yeah it is nice to know its not just me :3
Rusholme

Posted: 12 Jan 2015
Re: Making friends
I only have 2 friends going on 1 so i really couldn't comment. Any break-throughs please email me.
daviemoo

Posted: 12 Jan 2015
Re: Making friends
I... I'm your friend Marc :( I'm just shit at actually, you know.
Talking...
Skinny

Posted: 12 Jan 2015
Re: Making friends
@rusholme i think you take these threads to seriously.
styzssm

Posted: 13 Jan 2015
Re: Making friends
I'm not socially awkward, I find talking to people quite easy on the whole.

I just fine people to be really quite
I had good friends but then they all fucked off so now I really can't be bothered.

We leave the womb alone (for 99 % of us anyway). I guess we leave the same way. if someone comes along in the mean time it's a bonus up until the point they screw you over, if you're really lucky, they'll screw you in the good way.

And people say I'm nor emo.
styzssm

Posted: 13 Jan 2015
Re: Making friends
* Good way too
* not
stewiestrapon

Posted: 13 Jan 2015
Re: Making friends
I find it relatively easy to talk to people, but then I'm like 'you can go now'.

I'm terrible >.<
daviemoo

Posted: 13 Jan 2015
Re: Making friends
Yeah I'm much the same. I miss friends when I see them and im always like 'we need to see each other more' then when it comes to making plans I'm like- nah.
stewiestrapon

Posted: 14 Jan 2015
Re: Making friends
@daviemoo And after like half an hour the novelty of missing them wears off and you want to go home >.<
styzssm

Posted: 14 Jan 2015
Re: Making friends

rogerkint

Posted: 14 Jan 2015
Re: Making friends
I don't really have any friends because I generally dislike people as a category because they're emotional and irrational - I'm actually classed as a high functioning autistic - and I just don't get half of the ridiculous dance around subjects people tend to do. Coincidently I watched The Imitation Game last night and so much of it seemed familiar to me. The bit where they say they're going for lunch when what they mean is do you want to come for lunch with us Alan? Totally done that. I don't like sandwiches either.
styzssm

Posted: 15 Jan 2015
Re: Making friends
People are generally dicks
daviemoo

Posted: 16 Jan 2015
Re: Making friends
i think i'm just a weird person in that i don't really tend to miss people. if i know theyre still alive out there wandering around doing their thing thats usually enough for me.
it's weird. after uni i became a temporary socialite who did nothing but hang out with a big group of friends drinking. im pretty sure that davie lives somewhere in my regenerated liver.


stewiestrapon

Posted: 16 Jan 2015
Re: Making friends
I was relatively okay before uni. Then I got in a relationship and went all 'who needs friends' (as people sometimes do). Then I went over the top social as if to compensate for not having the uni social experience. Now I'm like "fuck me Stewie what is wrong with you "

On the whole I do like doing my own thing. I think I like the idea of being crazy social again more than I'd like actually living it? Not that I mean that in an 'antisocial and proud- people suck' way if anyone gets me?
styzssm

Posted: 16 Jan 2015
Re: Making friends
I would like a close friend don't get me wrong but the closer someone is the more the they'll end up fucking you over later.
daviemoo

Posted: 17 Jan 2015
Re: Making friends
ah me and adam are both fine with just staying in together. i lost all my friends when i moved home for a while after uni because the only thing that linked us was that we were all shallow drunkards who liked sex.
probably a good thing ultimately! i'd just like a couple of close friends who i can hang out with when i want and not see when i dont want. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK *flails*

and dont worry @stewiestrapon i had a good friend who seems to have elected to ignore my existence since he got into a relationship which is rich considering he was mister 'single life is good life' for like 3 years.
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